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Slacks Diary
by Ranger Extreme
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Tuesday, July 24 2001
July 24th
Woke up Early to play a golf game with my old friend Peter Pocklington
today. We laughed And joked how We both are considered the biggest morons
in Hockey History for trading out the greatest player of all time for what
basically came down to a Krappa load of fishnagles. Speaking of fishnagles
J.D and Toucan Sam Rosen joined us on our golf outing. I asked them to fly
up at their own expense to hit the lynx and afterwards to join me and
Pocky over at his palatial estate to go over the scripts I had prepared
for them to repeat at nauseam for the 2001-2002 NYR season.
Thank god Diary this organization doesn’t let their TV announcers
criticize their team until about game 78 when it’s obvious they will be
missing the playoffs. There are some definite perks working with a team
who has the announcer’s views and opinions in their hip pockets.
After a breathtaking round of golf in which I got lost yet again looking
for my ball. We headed to the Gretzky Wing of Peter’s Estate to eat
lunch. I was chomping at the bit to give Sam and J.D my “Slacks
Offseason Acquisition Propaganda Sheet”. Or as I like to call it SOAPS.
The sheet basically tells Sammy and Johnny what to say during every Ranger
telecast concerning Myself, The Rangers and all 3 of my off season moves.
I figure my SOAPS scripts are good for at least the first 20 games until
we are 4-11-5. Then I’ll let Renney spin some creative stuff until the
All-Star break to keep those Unwavering Ranger Fans appeased.
I must also say that I noticed at lunch J.D and Sam Nosen seem to be
genuinely good friends unlike Peter or myself who both collectively
don’t have one genuine bone in both our penny pinching bodies. At lunch
Sam would even feed J.D chicken wings while John’s hands were fumbling
through his SOAPS notes. The vision of me seeing Sam feeding J.D like that
kinda reminded me of feeding time for the Walrus’s at Seaworld.
But I digress, after needling Sam for about 2 hours about his ridiculous
comb over, They both left and flew back to N.Y with SOAPS in hand ready to
spew forth the Slacks mantra to all those unsuspecting Ranger fans back in
the Big Krapple. Peter then had me escorted off the grounds because of a
pressing engagement he had at the Plastic Bottle Redemption center.
I then headed straight for home. When I arrived I checked my messages. It
seems the cleaning lady had signed Sandy to an 888,000 contract earlier
that day. I have to say she is a lifesaver. Sandrew is well worth it and
it saved me a trip to god forbid my offices in NY. She forged my signature
on the contract as usual but that’s surely no biggie. It did however
remind me of the time last year when I had the UPS guy ink the Maladog
deal for me even though he kept asking me repeatedly over the phone
“Dude, Are you positive You wanna sign this clown?”
Slacks
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Additional stories from this Author:
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| November 26th, 2021 |
| TD GARDEN |
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| ► NEXT GAMES
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Friday Nov 26th
1:00pm - Road
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Sunday Nov 28th
6:00pm - Home
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Wednesday Dec 1st
7:00pm - Home
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Friday Dec 3rd
7:00pm - Home
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Saturday Dec 4th
8:00pm - Home
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Tuesday Dec 7th
8:30pm - Road
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Wednesday Dec 8th
7:00pm - Home
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Complete Schedule
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August 19th, 2021
Earlier this year the Rangers won by a margin of nine goals as they beat the Flyers 9-0. How many times has the margin been bigger?
Answer...
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| ► STANDINGS
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Team |
GP |
W |
L |
OT |
Pts |
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Panthers |
19 |
14 |
2 |
3 |
31 |
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Hurricanes |
18 |
14 |
3 |
1 |
29 |
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Capitals |
20 |
12 |
3 |
5 |
29 |
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Rangers |
20 |
13 |
4 |
3 |
29 |
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Maple Leafs |
21 |
14 |
6 |
1 |
29 |
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Lightning |
18 |
11 |
4 |
3 |
25 |
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Blue Jackets |
17 |
11 |
6 |
0 |
22 |
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Penguins |
19 |
9 |
6 |
4 |
22 |
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Red Wings |
21 |
9 |
9 |
3 |
21 |
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Bruins |
17 |
10 |
7 |
0 |
20 |
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Devils |
17 |
8 |
5 |
4 |
20 |
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Flyers |
18 |
8 |
6 |
4 |
20 |
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Sabres |
19 |
7 |
10 |
2 |
16 |
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Islanders |
16 |
5 |
9 |
2 |
12 |
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Canadiens |
21 |
5 |
14 |
2 |
12 |
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Senators |
17 |
4 |
12 |
1 |
9 |
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| FULL STANDINGS |
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| ► RANDOM RANGER |
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IVAN IRWIN
(1953-1958)
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Born: |
Mar 13 - 1927 |
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Position: |
Defense |
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Games Played: |
151 |
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Goals: |
2 |
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Assists: |
26 |
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Points: |
28 |
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Penalty Minutes: |
214 |
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