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New York Rangers Fan Club

Slacks Diary
by Ranger Extreme

Tuesday, July 24 2001


July 24th

Woke up Early to play a golf game with my old friend Peter Pocklington today. We laughed And joked how We both are considered the biggest morons in Hockey History for trading out the greatest player of all time for what basically came down to a Krappa load of fishnagles. Speaking of fishnagles J.D and Toucan Sam Rosen joined us on our golf outing. I asked them to fly up at their own expense to hit the lynx and afterwards to join me and Pocky over at his palatial estate to go over the scripts I had prepared for them to repeat at nauseam for the 2001-2002 NYR season.

Thank god Diary this organization doesnít let their TV announcers criticize their team until about game 78 when itís obvious they will be missing the playoffs. There are some definite perks working with a team who has the announcerís views and opinions in their hip pockets.

After a breathtaking round of golf in which I got lost yet again looking for my ball. We headed to the Gretzky Wing of Peterís Estate to eat lunch. I was chomping at the bit to give Sam and J.D my ďSlacks Offseason Acquisition Propaganda SheetĒ. Or as I like to call it SOAPS. The sheet basically tells Sammy and Johnny what to say during every Ranger telecast concerning Myself, The Rangers and all 3 of my off season moves. I figure my SOAPS scripts are good for at least the first 20 games until we are 4-11-5. Then Iíll let Renney spin some creative stuff until the All-Star break to keep those Unwavering Ranger Fans appeased.

I must also say that I noticed at lunch J.D and Sam Nosen seem to be genuinely good friends unlike Peter or myself who both collectively donít have one genuine bone in both our penny pinching bodies. At lunch Sam would even feed J.D chicken wings while Johnís hands were fumbling through his SOAPS notes. The vision of me seeing Sam feeding J.D like that kinda reminded me of feeding time for the Walrusís at Seaworld.

But I digress, after needling Sam for about 2 hours about his ridiculous comb over, They both left and flew back to N.Y with SOAPS in hand ready to spew forth the Slacks mantra to all those unsuspecting Ranger fans back in the Big Krapple. Peter then had me escorted off the grounds because of a pressing engagement he had at the Plastic Bottle Redemption center.

I then headed straight for home. When I arrived I checked my messages. It seems the cleaning lady had signed Sandy to an 888,000 contract earlier that day. I have to say she is a lifesaver. Sandrew is well worth it and it saved me a trip to god forbid my offices in NY. She forged my signature on the contract as usual but thatís surely no biggie. It did however remind me of the time last year when I had the UPS guy ink the Maladog deal for me even though he kept asking me repeatedly over the phone ďDude, Are you positive You wanna sign this clown?Ē

Slacks
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September 29th, 2017

How many rostered players were on the ice for opening night 2016-17

Answer...
  STANDINGS
  Team GP W L OT Pts  
  Flyers 2 2 0 0 4  
  Lightning 2 2 0 0 4  
  Capitals 2 2 0 0 4  
  Maple Leafs 3 2 1 0 4  
FULL STANDINGS
  RANDOM RANGER

MARIO MAROIS
(1977-1981)
  Born: Dec 15 - 1957  
  Pos: Defense  
  GP: 166  
  G: 15  
  A: 52  
  Pts: 67  
  PIMs: 356  

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